15 Reasons Why Mother Nature Hates You...

Verifiable Proof That Mother Nature Does Not Love You. In fact, she probably hates you... If the following examples are any indication, Mother Nature has every intention of wiping human nature from her face like so many tears. Observe her handiwork:

1. Black Bear Attacks

This bear hates YOU.

Black Bears have been killing humans longer than humans have been killing cockroaches, for thousands of years the black bear has attacked and eaten humans of all shapes and sizes. They've gotten very good at it.

A mother prepares her child for its ultimate fate.

Even the captive bears are never really tamed; a woman named Kelly Ann Walz was mauled to death by a "captive" black bear as she cleaned its cage. If you do decide to venture into the wilds, be sure to go prepared – a Smith and Western .500 will see off all but the largest of bears.

 

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2. Huge Python Asphyxiates Baby Girl

The police are trained to use sticks to control snakes.

Pet owners are often the first to forget that Mother Nature is a cruel and uncaring monster. They also forget that the concepts of 'family' and 'love' only exist within the minds of some of the higher mammals. Shaianna Hare's mother was tragically reminded of these fundamental truths when her pet python strangled her baby daughter Shaianna.

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3. Human Eating Crocodiles

Could you give me a hand feeding the crocodiles?

Crocodiles kill more humans than any other animal predator. The ancient Egyptians were terrified of this Jurassic throwback; it was fear of their anger that prevented them from bridging the Nile.

Nay Pharaoh, you must take the ferry.

Crocs do not offer their victims a quick death. Unlike the jugular bite of a shark or the rapid poison of a coral snake, crocs sink their teeth into the body and pirouette, like an aquatic ballerina of death; hunks of living flesh are ripped from the victim's body, death occurs due to a combination of massive trauma and hemorrhaging.

This Wildebeest has seen its last water hole.

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4. Jellyfish Sting

The coast guard had to be called in to end this man's jelly stalking.

Jellyfish are the femme fatale of the deep. Their "dress" of tentacles (scientifically known as nematocysts) can be lethal, causing shock, paralysis and internal bleeding. Some jellyfish's tentacles stretch over 1000 times their body length.

Beautiful, yet deadly.

Humans are frequently killed by jellyfish all up and down the beaches of South East Asia and beyond. The deadliest jellyfish of all is the Box Jellyfish, since records began in 1884 it has killed over 5500 people. Its sting is so painful that some people still scream whilst unconscious. 

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5. Monkey Bite Causing The Death of 250,000 People

A white furred assassin.

Mother Nature has a morbid sense of humour. Here's the proof: Alexander I, ruler of Greece in the 1920's, died from sepsis contracted from a monkey bite.

A monkey killed this man.

Upon Alexander's death the throne passed to his father, Constantine I. Constantine I was, by all accounts, a blood thirsty turd. The 2nd Greco-Turkish War started under his rule which ultimately claimed the lives of 250,000 people.

Those lives might have been saved... if only Alexander hadn't been bitten by a cheeky little monkey.

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6. Deadliest Animal on Earth – The Mosquito

The mosquito is the planet's most efficient killer. Statisticians hold that between 2 and 3 million deaths per year can be attributed to mosquito bites.

Most of mankind suffers the unkindness of this dirty beast.

Their bellies are like Pandora's Box; carrying everything from yellow fever to dengue to malaria. Every bite is akin to Russian roulette, so should you catch a glimpse of one of these blighters swat till your heart is content.

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7. Fatal Snake Venom

This snakes hates YOUR MOM

TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY (250). That's the number of snake species slyly slithering across the planets surface that possess venom powerful enough to kill a grown man. 

If this happens to you – crap your pants.

Some venom will bring death in minutes; a black mamba bite can kill in 20. Others give you time to wallow in your terror and agony. Currently around 75,000 people die of snake bites worldwide every year.

8. The Attack of the Hippo

This mouth hungers for blood

It's hard to really fathom how dangerous a hungry (hungry) hippo can be. More people are killed every year by the African Hippo than any other wild animal, either by trampling them to death or capsizing the boat.

Hippo tusks can tear through flesh like warm knives through butter. They swim as deftly as fish and run as quickly as horses, making escape difficult; don't expect to getaway if one wants to give you a "kiss".

This man has adopted the correct course of action.

Hippos are considered one of Africa's most aggressive and dangerous animals, more so than most big cats.

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9. Elephant Rage

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-

The Elephant is often thought of as one of nature's gentle giants. In many respects this idea of the elephant is correct; there are instances of elephants protecting injured people from Lion and Hyena attacks.

Tippi and Abu – her elephant friend.

However, elephants are very emotional creatures. The elephant's brain has higly developed temporal lobes –the area of the brain that deals with emotion, this means that when an elephant loses it, it really loses it, diva style.

10. Big Cat's Love of Throats.

There are no hard statistics on the annual big cat fatalities; the best figure we've been able to dig up is around 800.

In old times this was a common sight.

Big cats are smart predators; mountain lions stalk men and attack from vantage points, tigers stalk and attack from behind. And if you've ever watched a program on the Discovery Channel, you know how brutal and ruthless these "cute" animals can really be.

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11. 2011 E Coli Outbreak

E.Coli is like Mother Nature's wet wipe; anything the other predators miss will get wiped out by this "innocuous" little germ.

It is incredibly contagious - capable of spreading through food and/or water - and it can quickly kill even healthy adults. As recently as 2011, there was an E.Coli outbreak in Germany, leading to the deaths of 17+ people.

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12. The Brain-Attacking Tapeworm

Tapeworms are particularly diabolic because they murder you from inside. They wrap around your intestines, extracting nutrients from the brain and feasting on the food you consume. 

Eventually the host (read: you) dies from starvation, infection or anemia. Fantastic.

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13. Candiru Fish

The fish dwells within the fresh waters of the Amazon, a place often romanticized by TV but in actual fact is a greener version of hell. They're also the only parasite with a backbone that is known to target humans; it's a real life alien.

Life is crappy in the Amazon

The Candiru swims into a man’s penis as he pisses. They are strongly attracted by the scent of human urine and gain access to the urethra when the opportunity presents.

Candiru removed by a trained profession, from where I dare not consider. 
Click here for a more explicit version.

There has been only one verifiable report of the fish entering a man's urethra. However, there have been various reports of the fish lodging itself into the vaginas of unsuspecting swimmers.

14. Tsunamis

It's hard to imagine the sheer terror you feel when facing a "wall of water", like the one that lunged from the Indian Ocean in 2004. That tsunami killed approximately 250,000 people.

Mother Earth shrugs her shoulders.

It is not a quick death; first you're smashed by a back-breaking wave, then you're tumbled into an aqueous darkness until your clenched jaws go lax and your lungs give out. Thanks nature.

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15. Earthquake Horror

Every year, an average of 63,000 souls are claimed by the land beneath their feet and the roofs above their heads.

In 1556, over 830,000 people were killed during an earthquake in China. More recently, over 200,000 people were killed in Haiti during the 2010 earthquake. We end our brief trip through the terror of nature with a small gallery of paintings that show, beautifully, the destruction these hiccups of the earth can bring.

1755 Lisbon Earthquake

San Francisco Earthquake 1906

Aftermath of Haitian Earthquake.

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